By Meg Kennedy Dugan, Roger R. Hock
Publish 12 months note: First released in 2000 (first edition)
Those who've by no means skilled an abusive or violent courting frequently think that upon discovering a manner out, victims’ problems are solved: their lifestyles is nice, they're secure, and restoration may be fast. even though, survivors recognize that leaving isn't the finish of the nightmare -- it's the starting of a frequently tricky and difficult trip towards therapeutic and happiness. It’s My existence Now deals readers the sensible suggestions, emotional reassurance, and mental know-how that survivors of courting abuse and family violence have to heal and reclaim their lives after leaving their abusers.
Since its e-book in 2000, It's My existence Now has been hugely profitable as a operating handbook for survivors who're beginning their lives over after an abusive dating. This beneficial e-book combines path on sensible and emotional matters with worksheets and self-exploration routines. Now, within the moment version, Dugan and Hock comprise up to date details and assets whereas encompassing a much wider variety of people and the relationships within which abuse and violence take place. the recent variation additionally offers a brand new emphasis on safeguard evaluation, which has more and more been proven to be a serious think about restoration. additionally, this re-creation comprises present assets and knowledge approximately agencies for sufferers in addition to revised and stronger innovations to aid survivors circulate ahead at the direction of recovery.
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Additional resources for It's My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence (2nd Edition)
Reducing Your Risk of Violence Now that you’ve looked at various factors that may indicate an increased possibility of present or future violence, what can you do to decrease your risk? As we’ve said before, there is probably no way to be completely safe. The best you can do is to take every possible step to decrease your risk. The first thing you will need to do is assess your present level of safety. If you feel that an imminent risk exists that your abuser may find and hurt or kill you, then you may need to go into hiding; disappear for a while.
33 your nightmares may be more hazy: something bad is happening to you that you can’t control. These nightmares may disappear over the coming months or they may hang on for years. Do whatever you need to do to cope with the nightmares. If it helps to sleep with a light on, do it. If you feel more comfortable having friends sleep over, invite them. These are by no means signs of weakness; they are perfectly normal reactions to having survived a terrible ordeal. Increasing your safety is not easy.
This first exercise helped you to identify the abusive behaviors you endured. The next part allows you the opportunity to analyze the effects of these more deeply. indb 16 3/30/06 3:12:55 PM Self-Exploration II Abusive Behaviors Analysis Now, for the following items, explain or analyze briefly how the abusive behaviors affected you. • List what, if anything, your partner said or did to you to make you feel bad about yourself. Examples of these would be calling you names, telling you that you are stupid or not attractive, or putting you down either to your face or to others.