The Therapist's Encounters with Revenge and Forgiveness by Mary Sherrill Durham

By Mary Sherrill Durham

Explores recommendations of vengeance, revenge fantasies, and the granting or withholding of forgiveness as they're manifested to the therapist in the course of therapy. Argues that revenge is generally expressed in a single of 2 methods, and categorizes sufferers into archetypes: the Exploited- Repressive person and the Vindictive personality. comprises separate chapters on revenge and forgiveness as they're expressed via kids and kids, and by means of offenders.

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She was puzzled by ‘the tenant uprising,’ as she described it, as she felt that she had dealt fairly with the persons to whom she rented. But after ‘some unpleasantness’ regarding her attitude toward certain children and pets in the apartments, she had received a notice, signed by representatives of her five apartments, stating that there were plenty of other nice dwellings in town to which they would be happy to move if she continued to dismiss their complaints. ’ She had found it fruitless to think about herself as ‘impossible,’ and she did not wish to face an upheaval in her life; and so she contacted a psychotherapist for help with this problem.

The work of mourning, a process of leave-taking, is the prerequisite for being able to think new thoughts, perceive new things and alter one’s behavior patterns. 406) In mourning the passing of revenge fantasies, the individual has chosen to relinquish a pleasure. 297–324). In the process of mourning the relinquishment of a gratification, the phases of outcry and of denial are not included. The phase of intrusion, however, is likely to be experienced by the individual who, like M, and L as well, has been inappropriately used, has engaged in revenge fantasies and is attempting to give up the obsessive, resentful ruminating.

In early adolescence she recalled being invited to take a walk with them; ‘as we rounded the first corner they informed me that they expected me to do well in school and later on in college, so that I would be sure to get a good job when I grew up, as I was not to expect them to support me. Needless to say, I was blindsided by this pronouncement, made totally out of the blue. I hadn’t given that eventuality any thought, as I was about fourteen and had my mind on tomorrow. ’ On this occasion her parents’ message thus confirmed an unconscious pathogenic belief concerning R’s very presence in her parents’ life.

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